Back to School Anxiety: Supporting Children and Young People Through the Transition

As the summer holidays begin to draw to a close, thoughts naturally start turning towards the new school year.

For some children and young people, September brings excitement: a new classroom, seeing friends again, new teachers and a fresh start.

For others, it can bring something very different.

Worry. Uncertainty. Sleepless nights. Stomach aches. Big emotions. Avoidance.

The transition back to school can be particularly challenging for children and young people with SEND, SEMH needs or previous difficult experiences of education.

And sometimes, what looks like challenging behaviour is actually anxiety communicating something that a child cannot yet put into words.

Why can returning to school feel so difficult?

During the summer break, many of the routines and expectations associated with school disappear.

Returning suddenly means navigating early mornings, busy environments, social expectations, learning demands, transitions and uncertainty again.

There may also be new teachers, different classrooms, timetable changes or worries about friendships.

For a child who relies heavily on predictability and routine, that's a lot of change to process.

Rather than focusing only on the behaviour we can see, it can help to ask:

“What might this child be communicating to us?”

A young person saying “I'm not going to school” may actually be communicating:

I'm worried about what will happen.

I don't know who my teacher will be.

I'm scared I'll get something wrong.

The classroom feels overwhelming.

I'm worried about friendships.

I don't know how to explain what I'm feeling.

Understanding what sits underneath the behaviour gives us somewhere to begin.

Signs of back-to-school anxiety

Anxiety doesn't always look like anxiety.

Some children may tell us directly that they're worried, but others communicate it through changes in behaviour.

You might notice:

• increased irritability or emotional outbursts

• difficulty sleeping

• headaches or stomach aches

• repeatedly asking questions about school

• withdrawing or becoming unusually quiet

• becoming more controlling around routines

• increased reassurance seeking

• refusing to talk about school

• saying they don't want to return

• becoming distressed when school is mentioned

These behaviours aren't necessarily something to immediately correct.

They may be signals that a child needs connection, reassurance and support.

What can adults do to help?

Create predictability

Uncertainty can make anxiety feel much bigger.

Where possible, help the child understand what September will look like.

This might include looking at photographs of their classroom, discussing who their teacher will be, reviewing their timetable or talking through how they will get to school.

For some children, a simple visual plan can make an enormous difference.

Validate before problem-solving

When a child tells us they're worried, our instinct is often to reassure them immediately:

“You'll be fine.”

Although well intentioned, this can sometimes unintentionally minimise what they're experiencing.

Instead, we might begin with:

“It sounds like going back is feeling really difficult at the moment.”

Connection comes before correction.

Once a child feels heard and understood, they're often much more able to explore what might help.

Break the transition into smaller steps

“Going back to school” is enormous.

Visiting the school building is smaller.

Putting the uniform out is smaller.

Looking at the timetable is smaller.

Meeting a new teacher is smaller.

Breaking a difficult transition into manageable steps can help a young person regain a sense of control.

Help them recognise what anxiety feels like

Children don't automatically know that a racing heart, butterflies in their stomach or feeling hot and shaky might be connected to anxiety.

Helping children recognise the physical signs of emotions is an important part of developing emotional literacy and self-regulation.

Rather than simply asking “What's wrong?”, we can become curious together:

“What are you noticing in your body right now?”

Build a coping plan before it's needed

Regulation strategies are much easier to practise when a child is calm.

Together, identify a few strategies they can use when things begin to feel overwhelming.

This might include breathing exercises, movement, sensory strategies, access to a trusted adult, a regulation space or using a visual prompt.

The aim isn't to remove every difficult feeling.

It's to help the child gradually develop the confidence that says:

“I know what I can do when this feeling shows up.”

Connection first

Perhaps the most important thing we can offer a worried child isn't the perfect strategy.

It's a safe relationship.

When children feel understood, supported and emotionally safe, they're better able to access the strategies and skills we're trying to teach them.

As September approaches, we don't need to solve every worry immediately.

Sometimes the most powerful place to begin is simply:

“I'm here. We can work this out together.”

Free Emotional Regulation Toolkit

If you're supporting a child or young person who finds big emotions difficult to understand or manage, we've created a FREE Emotional Regulation Toolkit to help.

It includes practical resources designed to support emotional awareness, recognise early warning signs and begin conversations around regulation.

Download your free Emotional Regulation Toolkit here: https://www.connectionfirstresources.co.uk/free-emotional-regulation-toolkit

Connection First Resources Practical, trauma-informed resources for the adults supporting children and young people.